What did Kickboxer Qartulad actually sound like? Imagine the original film’s audio – the thwack of pads, the synth score, Van Damme’s slight Belgian accent – and then, hovering over it, a single male voice slightly too loud, slightly out of sync. The voice actor would sometimes whisper dialogue for quiet scenes and suddenly shout for the fights. There were no female voice actors, so our narrator would raise his pitch for Kurt’s love interest (Mylee, played by Rochelle Ashana). The result: a universally beloved, unintentional comedy-drama.